Learning to Cope with Grief

20 Jul

In everyday life, I crave a deep sense of privacy. My circle is tight and even within it, I try to be cautious about what I share and to what level I reveal myself. This characteristic certainly doesn’t stem from trust issues, but it does serve as a type of self protection that has let me rely on my truest instincts—not the misguided input of others—for some time.

The exception to this rule of social privacy has always been my mother. As a therapist, she spent years mastering the tactics to break into my brain, which often, meant simply staying quiet and letting me ease into my thoughts, unlike the constant chatter that so often accompanies gatherings with my closest girlfriends.

For years, she gently guided me through the woes of adolescent angst, the vulnerabilities of adult relationships and the political web of workplace drama by nudging me to express myself and think through my quandaries aloud. She taught me how to work through difficult moments with as much grace as I could muster and when it she deemed it necessary, she’d share her insights, culled from a lifetime of lessons learned.

Recently, she taught me the greatest lesson—how to embrace and trust God’s plan without question, fear or anxiety.

She died on May 1. And since that day, I’ve been struggling with the deepest sense of grief that I’ve known. It lives so solidly inside of my chest that the only way to maintain normalcy in my everyday life has been to simply skim the surface of each day… never allowing too long a silence, as I’ve found it nearly always leads to an emotional collapse.

Instead, I’ve found a weird sort of comfort in the buzz of TV, droning personal finance podcasts that keep my mind busy on my commute to and from work, and more nights than normal spent with my boyfriend, whose presence simply helps keep me out of my own head. It might not be the healthiest way to cope, but it is a way to cope—and right now, that’s enough.

A year ago, I wanted to start writing a capsule that dabbled in the daily, from fashion and finances to style and stressors. And I suppose, this seismic shift in my life is more relevant that any of those things. The most odd piece of it all is that even when it feels impossible, life continues to move on just as it did before. Grocery stores lines still snaking down aisles, horns still being honked on the expressway, neighbors still walking their dogs.

I don’t know many women who have lost their mother at the age of 30, but I imagine there are so many of us struggling in the same ways to rebuild a life around an irreplaceable loss. Maybe this can be a place where in between the moments of normalcy, we learn to cope, together.


Photo: Today we celebrated the extraordinary life of my mom, a woman committed to living to the fullest no matter the circumstances. She nurtured, shaped and inspired not only me, but so many others. And while she'll be heart-achingly missed here, I'm so looking forward to seeing her again.

This beautiful woman, my mom.

Springtime Sweets: Lemon Cookies

21 Apr

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Sweet and spring-ish lemon cookies seem especially fitting for the Easter holiday, but these baked treats are so delicious, my relatives ask that I bring them to Thanksgiving and Christmas, too. No lie. With a powdered-sugar sprinkling and a zesty little zip, they’re light enough to snack on with tea, or to end an already-indulgent meal.

It’s no surprise that yesterday morning, I woke up early to bake a double batch for our family gathering.

The recipe – which I originally pulled from a Martha Stewart Everyday magazine, has evolved slightly over the years, but not too much.


  • 2 medium-sized lemons (organic if possible, since peel is used)
  • 1 stick unsalted butter
  • 1 cup granulated sugar
  • 1 cup powdered sugar
  • 1 egg
  • 1 tsp. vanilla
  • 2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1/2 tsp. baking soda
  • 1/2 tsp. salt


Preheat oven to 350 degrees; zest both lemons fully and squeeze lemon juice into a bowl.

Using a mixer, beat butter (at room temperature) with granulated sugar until light and fluffy. Add in egg, vanilla and two tablespoons of lemon  juice. Mix  until blended. On top of wet batter, sift flour, baking soda and salt. Add one heaping tablespoon of lemon zest and mix entire batter together until well blended.

Roll dough into approximately 1 1/2-inch balls, place two inches apart on baking sheet. Bake each sheet at 15 minutes, rotating halfway through.

Once cookies have cooled, add remaining zest to lemon juice and mix in powdered sugar. Add powdered sugar as necessary until frosting is pale yellow. Coat tops of cookies with frosting and let dry for 10 minutes. Using sifter, coat all cookies with powdered sugar.

Store at room temperature or freeze for up to two weeks.

(Makes approximately two-dozen cookies.)


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A One-Day Vacay at Langdon Hall

14 Apr wpe_cambridge_1

What a weekend. I’ve mentioned here that I was escaping for an evening in a faraway land (read: Canada) for a break from reality, and that’s just what I did. It was a quick break from reality with a bit of a smack-in-the-face return, but sometimes, that’s life.

In the moment, during the roughly three-hour drives to and from Detroit, and the deliciously lazy evening and morning at Langdon Hall, I enjoyed every piece of it, including the amazing spring temperatures. I didn’t snap too many photos, unfortunately, which meant that I didn’t capture our quaint guestroom with working fireplace and soaking tub… but trust me when I tell you it was perfect. That is, if what you’re looking for is quiet, calm and cozy.

Now, let’s get to the good stuff…


Dining on mussels in blush cream sauce al fresco at London’s
Covent Garden Market, Waldo’s Bistro on King


Cambridge’s architecture, which sits against the (literally: rushing) river
is a mix of very old and very new


Langdon Hall in all its early spring, pre-sprouting glory


Eight o’clock dinner reservations at Langdon; good wine, great food

Adding a Pop of Color at Home

11 Apr wpe_color_1

Throwing the windows open and letting in some fresh air has me giddy over some simple home updates. The easiest trick to spice up my neutral decor is to throw in a pop of unexpected color – in the form of bright pillows, a lacquer tray or a pop of peonies.

What’s your hue du jour? Minty greens and robin’s egg blues are popping up everywhere this spring, but I’ve also continued to see a steady stream of tried-and-true magenta and mossy green among the mix. (Especially in investment pieces like sofas and wooden furniture.)

Naturally, I’ve pulled some ideas from the grand ol’ internet that are sure to inspire you…


via (who wouldn’t want the “get it girl” pillow, right?)


via (those turquoise shutters are everything)


via (the minty green of those stools feels perfect for a kitchen)


via (magenta goes sophisticate with brass accents)


via (polka dots, zebra and mossy green? i can’t.)


via (well, hey, that’s a clever idea if I’ve ever seen it)


via (for the not-so-daring among us… the equivalent of animal-print undies)

An Overnight Getaway

10 Apr


Sometimes, the best medicine for mental fatigue is to get the hell out of Dodge.

After a few exhausting weeks of juggling an uncommon amount of career and family-related situations, I am so ready for a mini-vacation. I’ve marked myself out of office on Friday and will be promptly picking up and heading north, er, northeast, toward Canada’s Langdon Hall (hotel summer photo above). A boutique property that was once a 25,000-square-foot “summer residence,” today’s hotel and spa is a dreamy throwback – with fireplaces in every room (swoon) – that’s a painless three-hour drive from Detroit.

My plans for the overnight escapade? Well, they involve sunglasses, THE best road-tripping playlist, plenty of wine, a leisurely dinner and lots of general not-caring-ness. (Is that a word? It should be.) Oh, and my passport. CANNOT forget to pack the passport.

I hope that your weekend plans excite you equally – whether you’ll be strolling the farmer’s market, making it a movie night or off jetsetting. Enjoy!

April Planner: Refresh + Refuel

3 Apr


Here’s an idea. Just as the earth starts to peel back the brownish layers of late winter and give way to spring, let’s use the month of April to refresh our own lives a bit.

Nobody likes a long list of to-dos, so here are a few “take ‘em or leave ‘em suggestions” that you can use to balance playfulness – and priorities – in your life.

  • April 2: A windowsill herb garden is even more fun when the end result can be used as the basis for a sweet, spring swig. Try mint, lavender or basil, which are easy additions to a cool cocktail.
  • April 5: Lug out your seasonal furniture or choose a new bistro set before they’re picked over in the stores. On the first beautiful day, you’ll be kicking yourself if your patio isn’t ready for use.
  • April 7: Commit to reading at least one “book with benefits” this month. Choose either a business or self-help option; I obviously love the title of this new release, Overwhelmed: Work, Love and Play When No One Has the Time.
  • April 16: Tax day was yesterday, so now’s the time to take all of those papers (and digital materials) and neatly file them away. Keep a folder at home for hard copies, and save them on a data drive as well.
  • April 18: Prep for Easter celebrations with a citrusy sweet like lemon sugar cookies. I drizzle mine with a frosting made of 2 tbs. lemon  juice, 1 tbs. lemon peel and 1 cup confectioner’s sugar.
  • April 22: Celebrate Earth Day by doing something good and green. Visit a restaurant that sources locally, light some candles rather than using lights in the evening, or plant a sapling in the backyard.
  • April 26: Pull on your favorite sunnies and live in layers with a soft, floral scarf. Pair it with a cardigan and distressed denim or simply tie it onto your spring tote.
  • April 27: Don’t leave all the fun to your closet. Dress up your home with some brightly colored and textured throw pillows to instantly liven your living space.
  • April 30: Wrap up the month with a DIY manicure in a brilliant shade of cool blue or minty green. Slather a sugar and olive oil paste onto cuticles and rinse before stepping outside of your comfort zone with sparkles or stripes to create statement-making nails.

What I’m Reading

1 Apr

Image Isn’t there something delicious about settling into a cozy spot and poring over a feed full of juicy, new posts? Ever since the Google Reader tool was axed, I’ve used Feedly (specifically, its Chrome extension app) to categorize and keep track of my favorite blogs. Each day, whether I’m taking a 10-minute mental break at work or killing time in a grocery line, I can quickly scan stories for a dose of inspiration.

A fashion fix, a reality check on retirement planning, and a ruby-hued cocktail recipe. A great day of blogspiration is like the most amazing afternoon of scouring at Nordstrom Rack. Except free. Which as it turns out, is a much savvier way to kill time.

Which bloggers are you addicted to? Here, I’ve included a peek at my daily reads:

FASHION (Credit: Top row images, left to right)

  • Atlantic-Pacific I adore Blair’s preppy, east coast style. And even more, I love that her posts are pure photos… making Atlantic-Pacific the ideal destination when I need some strictly visual inspiration.
  • Dean Street Society Hilary’s eclectic style and bubbly personality are just as infectious as her #StyleMe wardrobe challenges. I’ve never actually completed one, but every month, I’m inspired to try at least a few of the trends.
  • The Classy Cubicle I love me a Vogue spread every now and then, but a girl’s gotta earn a paycheck. Mary’s wardrobe is a bit more professional than my full-time gig requires, but I totally appreciate her working girl mentality.
  • The Coveteur A sneak peek inside celeb and fashion influencer closets? Yes, please. Need I say more?

HOME + DESIGN (Credit: Second row images, left to right)

  • Centsational Girl Kate’s DIY approach is a welcome deviation from hours spent flipping through Elle Home and Architectural Digest. Her projects always turn out five times better than mine ever could, which is a good thing.
  • South Shore Decorating Each day, Stacy curates compilations of stunning home design and decor. So many times, I’ve spied images from the pages of a magazine that only catch my eye when she’s called them out.
  • Design Love Fest There’s something clean, calm and distinctively Scandinavian about Bri’s aesthetic. Through photos, workshops and graphic images, her posts infuse a dose of creativity into my day to day.
  • Young House Love Watching this family fix up their home one day at a time is fun and entirely practical, thanks to the in-depth tutorials they provide. Sweet shots of their daughter and dog are bonus material.

LIFESTYLE (Credit: Third row images, left to right)

  • A Cup of Jo I seem to always find a bevy of interesting links and thoughts on Jo’s blog. A little bit like a goodie bag, I wander over and am almost always pleasantly surprised at what I find – family stories, recipes, polls and more.
  • Cupcakes and Cashmere The day I stumbled across this blog, I remember telling every other girl I knew about it. And when Emily’s book was published, I snatched that up too. Her sensible, laid-back approach to life keeps things in check.
  • Dooce The first blog that I read and most likely, the only blog that I’ve ever scrolled through for hours at a time. I have cried from laughter and shared deep moments of empathy and reflection reading the story of Heather and her family.
  • Jenny Steffens Hobick A little bit of a young Martha Stewart, Jenny fills her home with warm colors and scrumptious foods. Her content always feels especially inviting to me during the fall and winter seasons.

MONEY + WORK (Credit: Fourth row images, left to right)

  • Blonde on a Budget She might live in Canada, but I appreciate Cait’s refreshingly frugal episodes. She’s past the start of her personal finance journey at this point, but she continues to chronicle her progress.
  • Get Rich Slowly When I was digging my way out of student loans and thousands in accumulated college debt, I read this no-gimmicks blog daily to keep me motivated. Today, with new and varied bloggers, it still helps to keep me on track financially.
  • More than Money J.D. Roth, who started Get Rich Slowly, now writes about managing money – and life – at More than Money. His musings on finance, travel and the power of yes are relevant at any age.
  • Penelope Trunk Talk about telling it like it is. With programs like “Networking for People Who Hate Networking,” Penelope is often inappropriate, slightly offensive, but insightful when it comes to women (or anyone) and careers.

Brightening Up Your Workspace

28 Mar


Anthropologie Gloriosa Mug ($12) | Ballard Designs antique gold Style Tacks ($19) | Russell and Hazel Lucite Stapler ($32) | Marc by Marc Jacobs iPhone Compact Mirror Case ($78) | Rebecca Minkoff Wallet Mason Continental in minty ($95)

Spring has sprung in some of the sunnier portions of the states. And while we’re still waiting for the mounds of snow to melt here in Michigan, there’s {at least} a breath of optimism in the air – a “we did it!” mentality that’s palpable even on the grayest days. We’re all hanging in there for that promised reward… blooming tulips, puffy, white clouds, and, well, you know the drill.

While we’re waiting for Mother Nature to do her thang outside, there’s no reason we can’t perk things up inside.

As you flip the calendar to April, consider adding some of spring’s pretty pastel hues to your physical desktop, and your virtual one, too. (Click here to download some lovely desktop patterns from Design Love Fest!)

With the addition of a slick lucite stapler and a few adorably antiqued push pins, you’re work space will be brighter in a matter of moments. Voila – spring has sprung! Well, nearly.

Accent Wall DIY: Painting vs. Paper

5 Mar


Turns out, wallpaper is pretty expensive for being, well, paper.

When I set out to revamp an accent wall at home, I was shocked to find that all the geometric patterns I was eyeing were labeled “designer,” and fetched well over $100 per roll. Say what?

I’ve never hung my own wallpaper before, but I can tell you that if I dished out that much on the product alone, I probably wouldn’t have had the budget to hire a contractor to come do it for me.

Instead, I spent one very long evening researching online, and through Pinterest, stumbled on a site called Cutting Edge Stencils that sells a gazillion different paint-on patterns to add oomph to your walls. In what I’m sure was a wine-fueled shopping spree, I watched a dozen how-to videos and ordered one immediately. And the next day, I crossed my fingers and said a quick prayer that I’d be able to figure it out.

First, a “before” photo of the room (taken during my walk-through of the home, before it was purchased):


And now, an awkwardly angled”after” shot:


See that sexy pattern? It’s made using the Zamira Allover Stencil ($38). I love the mix of organic and geometric shapes in this stencil; it feels feminine, but it’s also not flowery or too delicate.

Okay, now a few details:

Continue reading

Life Lately

4 Mar

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Life has been a bit wobbly lately. Along with the frigid temperatures, the first few months of 2014 have thrown a few snowy curve balls at my family, which seem to have socked us all in the gut.

Rather than planning an escape to the tropics, it’s been nice, instead, to hole up at my nearby parents’ home with my siblings (and nieces and nephews) to simply spend some time together and appreciate the time that we’ve been given.

In between work and time with family, I’ve squeezed in some typical creature comforts (snapshots above!) that I’ve found especially necessary. Something healthy, and something decadent. Something cold, and something bright and blooming. Something thoughtful, and something inventive. And last of all, something trying her darndest to keep warm!

I hope that March is off to a inspiring start for you and yours! What little things are brightening your days while we await spring?


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